The White Lie free essay sample

The White Lie The white lie perpetuates itself in our daily lives; in our relationships, in our homes and at our jobs. It is a poisonous seed that once set, can stem disastrous outcomes. Everyone has used the little white lie at some point, but it is however, the work of arrogance and deceit, and brings about distrust, self degradation, and pain. We think that white lies are harmless; nothing would come of them. The grave reality is that this seemingly harmless lie is the root of even more complex, sinister grievances that we may have never thought ourselves capable of. The white lie’s favorite meal is a relationship. It grows bigger, gets stronger and wreaks the most havoc here. For example, as a male, I always assume that my girlfriend wants to hear that she looks beautiful and that everything about her appearance is flawless. It just seems so much easier to throw out a, â€Å"You look wonderful†, than to deal with her glares if I fess up an, â€Å"I don’t like that dress. We will write a custom essay sample on The White Lie or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page † This white lie however, allows distrust into the relationship. How can I lie to her and yet expect honesty in return? It is hypocrisy. Even though it may seem small and insignificant, the white lie is the impetus for disaster. It becomes increasingly easy to say each time, permitting more and more untruths into the relationship. These bolstered white lies soon begin to take the form of deflection, omission, stereotyping, out-and-out lies, dismissal and delusion; all upper-class lies that we never thought we would commit. Nevertheless, by simply telling my girlfriend that one white lie, I immediately join a higher order of lying. Is it not stereotyping and cliche to think that a girl only wants to hear that she is the pinnacle of desire? Doesn’t stereotyping mean that we are now in league with the racists and the sexists? The little white lie is so tricky. It fools us by its golden paved roads and leads us into an abyss of constant deceit. â€Å"I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies. † (Pietro Aretino) If you truly care about someone, you would tell them the truth instead of assuming that you know what’s best for them. The assumption that your partner needs or does not need to know something stereotypes their personality. Furthermore, increased use of white lies makes it effortless to omit our thoughts and dismiss our partner’s feelings through the delusion that what we are doing is harmless. This self delusion or self deceit limits our ability to tell the truth, making us more susceptible to the pain of lying. We begin to find every reason why expressing a lie is better than revealing the truth. â€Å"When my partner came home, his haggard face told me his day hadn’t gone any better than mine, so when he asked, â€Å"How was your day? † I said, â€Å"Oh fine,† knowing that one more straw might break his back. (Ericsson) Apart from giving into the delusion and arrogantly deciding what we think our partner needs to hear, we also bring about self degradation. This self degradation is as a result of omission and deflection. In the quote from Ericsson, the white lie transforms into omission and deflection because she puts on a facade, portraying what she thinks her husband nee ds and hiding her true emotions. However, the truth that was deemed detrimental to one person converts into a lie that is injurious to everyone in the home. The feelings and emotions that we hide eventually crush us from within and can lead us into depression and withdrawal. It is impossible to maintain a facade forever. The stress from constantly retracting the truth adversely affects the relationship in a home since it puts even more pressure and strain on the family. You become so stifled by your own feelings that you are unable to perform key functions in the home, placing the extra burden on your loved ones. We therefore cause more hurt and pain through the white lie than we would have initially caused from just telling the original truth. This tiny devil also spawns more troublesome lies in the office or workplace. Take a look at this scenario. You come home late from the block party and head straight to bed without completing your report on company stocks. It’s okay to you though, it isn’t due till the following day. The next morning however, your employer asks if you have completed your report and you say the easiest thing -yes. In order to save yourself from a lengthy explanation, you lie thinking that it’s just another harmless fib. However, this white lie is in fact an out-and-out lie and leads to greater calamity. The blatant intent to completely distort the truth and perceptions of your employer returns to punish in the end. Imagine that your employer now thinks that your report is finished and calls for an impromptu meeting for you to present to the board. You are now faced with the consequences of your lie and you are tempted to make yet another, perhaps to say that you forgot the report at home. Even worse, what if your employer confronts about your lie and you retaliate by accusing him of giving you an impossible deadline. Here, you are exemplifying deflection; trying to draw attention away from your original lie to lay blame on someone else. These are classic examples of the white lie growing. It stems a string of lies that tarnishes your reputation and can lose you your job or position. â€Å"A single lie destroys a whole reputation for integrity† (Baltasar Gracian) The white lie cannot be undone and should not be condoned in any fashion. They add up in a snowball effect, and we eventually forget the initial truth that we were trying to hide. Then, when we are discovered, our cloak of lies vanishes, and we are alone and empty. Lying is a disease that corrupts modern society. From my observation, it is a social custom to consider a little white lie acceptable if it is done without harmful intent. However, the simple lie is by no means a replacement for the simple truth. â€Å"I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on, I can’t believe you. † (Friedrich Nietzsche) Lying erases our credibility and encourages us to perform even more moral injustices. To find an excuse for a white lie is to lie to oneself. It is trying to convince the soul that lying is acceptable and that it is okay in different situations. Despite the situation however, a white lie is always wrong. Whether it is within a relationship, where you assume that your partner would get upset by the truth or at the office, where you were a bit behind on a report, it is always better to tell the truth. Eventually, by passage way of a myriad of white lies, we lose ourselves and we lose our loved ones. Honesty and truth builds trust. Similar to the white lie, trust grows, but instead of deteriorating a connection, it strengthens it. There is no point in forging a toxic relationship built on deception when simple truths can be used to create a lasting bond. By large, there is no true categorization of lies. Delusion, dismissal, stereotypes, deflection, omission, facades and out-and-out lies all share common roots. They all start with white lies and they all end with bitter conclusions. No one can foresee the consequences of our actions today, but it is always better to be morally just and abstain from lying. â€Å"The man who fears no truth has nothing to fear from lies.